Rebellion

Lately, I seem to have developed a love-hate relationship with deadlines. I meet them, but it’s not a pretty process.

When I have a deadline, like the one set for tomorrow, I take out my writing project and then go through the following steps:

• My mind thinks of at least two or three new writing projects that I would like to start, so I begin an outline for each new project.
• I decide to check all of my blog feeds, multiple times.
• I then check my email, multiple times.
• And at the end of that, I try to go back to the project with the looming deadline. At least for a little bit, until I decide to write a blog post (like this one) or the urge to surf the internet hits again.

Inherently, I like the idea of deadlines because it means that a task will get done and that I can check it off my to-do list. However, in order to meet a deadline, I can’t be complacent; I must take some action. That’s the part that I seem to have trouble with. Not that I don’t want to do the task per se, but that I don’t want to do it on someone else’s timeline. (Yet, with this deadline, I even had a bit of a say in setting it.)

All of this behavior boils down to rebellion. And rebellion, at its root, is a failure to submit to authority. Not a pretty picture.

So, I’m going to try to get back on task and rebel against my rebellion, if that’s possible. While I’m doing that, consider what you rebel against. Do you have trouble meeting deadlines, obeying speed limit signs, complying with library or DVD rental due dates, or submitting to authority in general? I’d love to hear what causes you to rebel and how you combat it.

Charting Growth

My pastor briefly mentioned in his sermon a couple of weeks ago that you can’t watch growth; you can only measure it after the fact. The illustration that he used was that of being told that his children had grown; however, he hadn’t seen the growth in their height because he is around his children all the time.

Along the same lines, I recall a bold statement by author and speaker Angela Thomas who spoke at a conference that I attended. She shared about how she desired to be changed each year such that the people she spoke to one year would recognize her in future years at conferences but would be able to tell that there was something different about her.

I want that same thing too. And to some degree, I can tell that I’ve grown. If I think back to what I was like in high school, I can definitely see that I am not the same person. I am a little less self-absorbed, I’m not as OCD with cleaning (though I still like to keep things organized), I’ve switched from being a cat person to a dog person, and I’ve broadened my palette and actually eat some vegetables. None of those things happened overnight.

And yet, somehow, I get frustrated with my spiritual growth because it doesn’t happen fast enough. Becoming more like Jesus is difficult in our fast-paced world because we want an instant change, or at least I do. I don’t want to hear that it is a process. It seems like it doesn’t count if it isn’t a dramatic transformation like Saul/Paul’s encounter on the road to Damascus:

Then Ananias went to the house and entered it. Placing his hands on Saul, he said, "Brother Saul, the Lord—Jesus, who appeared to you on the road as you were coming here—has sent me so that you may see again and be filled with the Holy Spirit." Immediately, something like scales fell from Saul's eyes, and he could see again. He got up and was baptized, and after taking some food, he regained his strength.

Saul spent several days with the disciples in Damascus. At once he began to preach in the synagogues that Jesus is the Son of God. All those who heard him were astonished and asked, "Isn't he the man who raised havoc in Jerusalem among those who call on this name? And hasn't he come here to take them as prisoners to the chief priests?" Yet Saul grew more and more powerful and baffled the Jews living in Damascus by proving that Jesus is the Christ. (Acts 9:17-22)

Although I haven’t had instant change like Paul, I would be remiss if I said that I haven’t grown spiritually. In the past seven or eight years, God has stretched me in some interesting ways. He’s challenged me physically. He’s challenged me mentally. And He’s challenged me emotionally.

In the midst of those challenges, I have had some failures. I have given in to fear at times, sometimes to the point of anxiety and more health issues. I have given in to self-reliance at times, only to see that I can’t change myself by myself no matter how many checklists I create.

And so in taking my personal inventory and checking for growth, I can definitely see that God has been faithful. I don’t know what I’ll be “when I grow up,” but I hope I look more like Christ.

“Thank You Father for being faithful to work in me amidst my failures and backsliding. It is You who makes forward progress and all growth possible. Give me eyes to see the growth in others and encourage them in their spiritual walks.”

The Gift of Believing

I’m reading Blue Like Jazz a second time because my small group wanted to discuss it. After re-reading the first five chapters, one thing that has been impressed upon me is how God opened my heart to believe that Jesus is His Son and that He had to die on a cross for my sins. I didn’t struggle with believing that when I made a “public” decision to follow Christ on Christmas Day 1988. And today I still don’t struggle with believing that.

By saying that, I don’t mean that I completely understand grace or that I fully understand the ins and outs of the Trinity. I still have a lot to learn about grace and how to show it more often to those in my life, and I probably have even more to learn about the Trinity than I can grasp. But the concept of Jesus as my Savior came naturally.

I now know that was a gift.

Some people desperately struggle with making sense of Christianity and believing. Some people are just wired that way. Wanting to have good proof and to make logical sense of things before grabbing hold and believing.

In contrast to my life now, I didn’t ask many questions when I was growing up. If a teacher told me something or if I read something in a book, I didn’t question it. I guess I just had “childlike faith.”

Ever since college, I’ve had professions that require me to ask questions in order for me to be able to do my job. That tendency has carried over into many of my relationships, including my relationship with God. But the questions I ask today are geared more toward what I need to be doing to glorify Him and how I can walk more closely with Him.

“So Father, thank You for giving me the gift of believing in You and Your Son. Help me to be patient with those who struggle to believe in You and to point them toward You in whatever way I can.”

Dependence

Today I arrived at work and found that our computers were down. The computer “migration” that was scheduled for the weekend encountered some difficulties and had to continue through today. That left us to ponder what tasks we could do without a computer.

The answer was clear: very few.

It was a bit stunning to see how dependent we have become on computers. Not just as a means of communicating, but as a way--the way--we do our jobs. My job is not in high-tech and was able to be performed before computers were invented. So, I know that it is possible to work without a computer; it’s just that it takes sooooo much longer. And the end product has to be put on the computer anyway to be disseminated to others.

All of this got me thinking about how much time I spend on a computer daily versus how much time I spend with God. It’s obvious from the above that I am fairly dependent on my computer and pretty lost without it. But can I honestly say the same about God? Do I depend on Him like I should? Do I notice when I’m wandering around on my own? Do I feel like I can’t live without Him?

If I’m truthful, some days I’m more dependent than others. Some days I’m totally independent of God, depending completely on my self. Those aren’t days I’m proud of. Thankfully though, most days God gives me at least a few reminders that I need to depend on Him by putting some big tasks before me--tasks that I know I can’t do on my own. But just as I “need” the computer for simple e-mails as well as complex documents, I truly need God for every task, big or small. I just need to get into that mindset.

"On" Living

One of my favorite things to do on the weekend is to watch a good game. During the fall, it’s college football, especially Big 12 games. In the summer, it’s golf and tennis. But I’m more drawn to watching when “my” team or individual is “on.”

By “on” I don’t mean that the team or individual is merely receiving television coverage. By “on” I’m talking about when the team or individual is in the groove and is playing at the top of their game. Like today with Tiger Woods at the top of the leader board blowing away the competition. Or like the 2005 college football season when the Longhorns went undefeated and won the Rose Bowl with Vince Young at the helm.

But I don’t just follow those who are known for being the best. I followed Venus Williams who had an amazing come-back this year at Wimbledon in spite of being ranked 31st. And I followed Boise State last year beginning in early October when they crept into the top 20 rankings in college football and eventually went on to stun the Oklahoma Sooners in the Fiesta Bowl.

Watching these teams and players when they are “on” got me thinking: If it is this much fun for me to watch them do their “thing” and do it well, how much pleasure must God get out of seeing the rest of us (whose daily lives are not broadcast on television) do our particular “thing” and do it well?

Like the person with a gifted singing voice who blesses the congregation with special music.
Or the person with the gift of administration who works behind the scenes to make sure things run smoothly.
Or those who volunteer their time to help others.
Or working parents who manage to save a little energy so that they can play with their children when they get home.

What if everyday Christians lived an “on” life each day using their God-given talents for His glory? What would that look like?

I know it wouldn’t be easy, but isn’t it worth striving for? After all, the heavenly rewards are far better than winning any sporting event, even those with a $35 million purse.

Looking Up

I noticed the other day that I’ve fallen into a bad habit.

Whenever I take my dog for a walk, I keep my eyes on the ground. I’m constantly scouring the ground around us to see if there is anything that Annie might possibly decide to rescue or eat. She’s a golden retriever, so she feels that it is her task in life to bring me “treasures,” unless she happens to discern that such treasures are edible, at which point she eats that treasure and goes in search of a new treasure that she can bring to me.

And so our walk goes something like this, “No. . . . Don’t eat grass. . . . Drop it. . . . [goes a few steps without trying to retrieve anything] Good girl.” Repeat phrases until we have made it back home.

I know that part of this is due to her upbringing, but that’s not my point.

My point is that for a brief second the other evening, I took my eyes off the ground and looked up. At that moment, God took my breath away. He had painted one of the most gorgeous sunsets that we’ve had all summer. And I almost missed it.

It made me wonder how many gifts from God I’ve missed because I haven’t taken the time to get my eyes off myself or my circumstances and simply look up. Besides sunrises and sunsets, I bet I’ve missed a bunch of smiles. There have probably been rainbows and butterflies and all sorts of neat and beautiful things that I've missed out on.

I don’t want to miss out on these treasures any longer. And so as I begin to lift up my eyes more often, I challenge you to do the same and let me know what you see.

"I lift up my eyes to the hills--
where does my help come from?
My help comes from the LORD,
the Maker of Heaven and earth."
--Psalm 121:1-2

Pick Up Authentic Parenting

The book I discussed on Monday, Authentic Parenting in a Post-Modern Culture, by Mary E. DeMuth is available now. You can purchase your autographed copy directly from Mary by clicking on the title in the previous sentence. I encourage you to pick it up today!