Sunday, April 27, 2014

Perspective: In the Palm of His Hands

For the past several weeks, family and friends have asked for updates on whether I'm moving, and I've had to answer, "I don't know."  That's hard for me to say because I'm not normally indecisive, but this decision is not dependent on me.

In the first two weeks that the house was on the market, I had ten showings and had three offers, and while I was so grateful that people were finding my house and liking it, that was just the first hurdle. 

When I decided to accept one of the offers, I then had to clear the next hurdle of making it through the inspection.  That, too, was no easy task because many of the windows are foggy due to broken seals between the double panes and because the house is almost 30 years old and has weathered its share of droughts.  Thankfully, the Lord helped me make it over that hurdle.

Last week, the appraiser came, which is another big hurdle because there are no comparable floor plans in my area.  And unfortunately, with less than two weeks to go until closing, I don't know if the house appraised for the selling price because the appraisal hasn't been posted with the lender.  So that has made for an interesting weekend of trying to figure out what I should be doing:  should I start packing or should I just relax?

Another hurdle is that at this point, I haven't found a place to move.  The places that I had in mind have been rented.  And the other places I've looked at have been far away from work, haven't had a garage, or have been way more expensive than my current monthly payment (which includes my mortgage, taxes, and homeowners' insurance).

So as of right now, it kind of feels like God is telling me to stay put.  And so I have not packed a single box, nor have I acquired packing boxes.

But that could all change tomorrow if the appraisal is released and states that the house appraised for the selling price. 

And then, everything could change again at closing if the buyer's loan doesn't fund.

Have I lost you with all of the hurdles? 

Sometimes it's hard to write when I'm in the midst of trying to process a situation, but I wanted to try to capture this place I'm in.  It's foggy, but it's not dark.  It's unsettling, but it's not necessarily unpeaceful.  I'm just trying to figure out what my role is and what parts I'm supposed to do, but the Lord hasn't made that clear to me just yet.

What has been very obvious is that I am not in control and that the Lord is.  My prayers are before Him, and I look forward to seeing what He orchestrates. 

But as for now, the view is fuzzy when I try to peak through His fingers from my vantage point in the palm of His hands.  So I think I'll just sit back and rest in His presence and allow Him to work.