Sunday, October 21, 2007

Moody Weather

(the view outside my house)

Who could be discontent with blue clear skies?

That would be me.

On Monday, my birthday, God decided that stormy weather was in order. I was not a happy camper. People who were kind enough to wish me a happy birthday seemed surprised when I responded in a less than joyful way and mentioned the storms outside. Evidently, the storms had made me a bit glum.

So when I heard the forecast for this weekend included brisk mornings and sunny afternoons, I got excited. I geared up yesterday to write about what a super Saturday I had in store. One with no set agenda. A leisurely Saturday with beautiful weather. What more could I ask for?

Maybe no sinus headaches? That would have been a good prayer to pray.

Shortly after I returned from running errands, which included strolling around the nursery picking out pansies, a massive sinus headache started raging in my cheeks and brain. Not long thereafter, nausea set in. I soon found myself making my way to my bed to attempt to find a position that would make my head stop hurting. I went to bed before the sun did.

Thankfully, today the blue clear skies have reappeared, and so far, I don’t have a sinus headache. I’ve managed to plant the pansies that I bought yesterday and to get some chores done. But a little bit of guilt has set in.

Throughout today, God has shown me how quickly I become discontent when everything doesn’t line up like I want it to. I secretly, or maybe not so secretly, pinned my contentment for the weekend on my ability to enjoy it my way (i.e., doing what I wanted to when I wanted to with beautiful weather, all while remaining pain-free). As soon as the headache set in and stole my ability to do pretty much anything, my contentment vanished. At that point, giving thanks in all circumstances was a far cry from the thoughts that were on my mind.

Tomorrow, forecasters predict that the storms will return. But I don’t want my gloomy attitude to return along with them. Instead, I pray that God will give me strength to be content no matter my circumstances. (Philippians 4:11-13)


nikki said...

i appreciate this post...reading your thoughts and being challenged by your perspective

Anonymous said...

I hope you are feeling better! You know from my blog that I have had similar issues lately. That "rejoice always" thing is not easy at all! Thanks for leaving kind comments. Its funny we seem to both be getting over some spiritual dryness right now. I hope things are getting better for you!

"Bluebonnet in the snow" said...

N - Thanks so much for stopping by! It was fun to chat with you at the dinner last week. Your posts sharpen me as well.

R - Thanks for your encouragement. When it feels like God has taken the feelings away (those ones attached to spiritual highs), it always forces me to go back to the Truth and remember that faith is not a feeling. I come out stronger, but it's definitely a process.