When to Use Words

Why is it that when I want to write, I think long and hard and words barely trickle? But when I speak, words flow too freely, often when they shouldn't flow at all. At least that's the case most of the time.

This past week, the opposite occurred. I went to pay my respects to a family who had lost a loved one, and the words would not come. I didn't know how to sum up the impact of the loved one's life on my own in that short time at the visitation while the line of people behind me grew longer. As the small talk quickly dried up, because it is merely filler to begin with, and the line pressed in, I was thanked for coming. All I could think of to convey my huge heart thoughts was, "He was worth the trip."

In some ways, the tongue-tied-ness fits the situation perfectly. The loved one had made a big impact on my life through his presence, not his words which were mostly few and far between. And there I was trying to show by my presence that his life mattered much.

I think back to those friends of Job and the role that they played in those first seven days. They sat by Job's side without speaking. A ministry of presence. It was when they opened their mouths that things started going downhill.

I am not sure I learned from their example because my lack of words and mere presence didn't seem like enough. I wanted to put words to the feelings I had.

And so I wrote a letter.

I tried to convey that my life was better because I had the opportunity to know this caring man who took the time to acknowledge my presence every time he saw me, spent time patiently trying to correct my golf swing, and loved his family with all of his heart. I tried to pass along how very proud he was of his son as shown by his presence if not by his words. And, above all, I wanted it known I will not forget this loved one.

The words were well received, but I'm not sure they were necessary.

I recall a lawyer friend of mine making a three-hour trip to attend my dad's funeral. She was an assistant district attorney in Houston at the time. The fact that she got someone to cover her docket and that she drove six hours round-trip for a 30-45 minute funeral blew my mind. She hugged me through tears and said nothing, if I recall correctly. Yet, over seven years have passed, and I have never forgoten her act of kindness.

I think a ministry of presence is a powerful thing, sometimes more powerful than words. But I need the wisdom to know which is best in any given circumstance.

[This is my second attempt to participate in the Words Project with Holley & Ann over at A Holy Experience.]

Word Project

I’m in the middle of a challenge. Actually, there are several, but the one I am speaking of is called the “Word Project.” That’s what our church has named a 22-week project in which they have challenged the church as a body to memorize Galatians. The end goal is not necessarily to be able to say every word in those 6 chapters in the correct order. Instead, the goal is to get the message in our minds and hearts.

I’ll admit that my first response wasn’t one of delight. I think my face reflected a look of incredulity. I think I actually may have even snickered as I told my small group what to be expecting in the weeks to come.

Then, I heard that a lady, who is now a friend but was merely an acquaintance at the time, had already memorized all of Galatians. She did it a few years back when she and a group of women were studying the book and decided to challenge themselves to memorize it. At that point, the challenge somehow became more do-able and a lot more desirable.

As of this week, we are 10 weeks into this challenge. I fell behind last week, so I’m actually still working on the verses for week 9. Up until then, I didn’t really have to try very hard to get the words to stick. Sure, I invested time listening to the cd that we have that contains all the verses on it. But, I didn’t struggle all that much.

Then, last week’s verses stumped me. Maybe that’s because I had gotten a little too prideful. Maybe I had gotten a little too independent and self-reliant.

Well, no more. I now recognize that there is no way that I can get 148 verses (yep, I counted) in my brain without a little help from Above. This isn’t like high school when I could cram the elemental chart from chemistry in my head in a matter of moments and have it stick for years to come. A lot of other stuff has been added to my head since those days. And, it seems as if my brain hasn’t let go of old phone numbers, people’s birthdays, or the words to songs I no longer listen to. All that stuff had temporal value and yet my brain holds onto it.

Now, I’m having to retrain my brain to let go of the temporal and crave the eternal. It’s not an easy process. But I think the rewards will be much more lasting than knowing the phone number to the Pizza Hut back home.