Sunday, June 3, 2007

14 Inches

Fourteen inches. That’s all. Sounds like a short enough distance that I could hop on one leg while blindfolded and still make it. But that’s not the leap at issue.

These fourteen inches are from my mind to my heart. And somehow, because of where those inches are located, the distance seems much greater. Just ask the nerves that run between the two organs. Mine are probably a bit weary from the constant battle.

My heart: I feel unseen, unwanted, unchosen.
My mind: Just believe the Truth. (John 8:32)

My battle isn’t the only one like this. I talked to a friend today whose heart-mind battle looked a lot like mine but with different words. This friend said that family members affirmed that the outcome of a situation was good, but the heart couldn’t grasp that. It was holding onto a history of feelings. And the mind, which wanted to believe that all was well, was not sold on that outcome just yet. It was still allowing the heart to take the reins. And so the fourteen-inch battle was still in full swing.

To get my mind on top of my battle, I need to be willing to reject any feelings that are not consistent with the Truth. And I want to do that. It’s just, I get stuck sometimes with my heart on a different page than my mind. It’s as if my heart has taken my brain hostage, intercepted all the signals from my brain, and is directing the communication. My brain, which is powerful enough to solve calculus problems without any direction from my heart, is having trouble taking back over command central.

They say, “Pick your battles.” But, I’m not sure that I personally ever got a vote on this particular battle that my heart and mind started waging years ago. I’m signing off from the battlegrounds today, but I can’t say it will be the last time that my pesky heart stirs up trouble.


Anonymous said...

it is nothing but divine intervention that i read your post today. thank you...your words struck my heart beautifully.

Caddis fly said...

Though I always attempt to achieve universality in many of my own psychological and verbal musings--so that others may (perhaps) validate their own thoughts, or at least empathize with mine, I am particularly interested in the specifics behind your 14 inch separation..?? I'm quite certain that God gave us a heart separated from the mind for good reason. I hope that your need to "be willing to reject any feelings that are not consistent with the Truth" isn't a self-imposed restriction, but rather an opportunity to further explore your own mind and it's ability to understand the Truth... If we aren't using our hearts and minds to their fullest, we aren't using what He gave us..... Just my two cents. I'm sure I'll find more change in my pocket as your blog progresses.

"Bluebonnet in the snow" said...

Anne - Thanks so much for stopping by and for encouraging me!

Caddis fly - Thanks for your "two cents" and for challenging me to look at this from another perspective! I'm sure I'll revisit this again soon.